It's A New Dawn It's A New Day....

...it's a new life for me.

So I had a good day yesterday, don't really remember it but there is good stuff. I'm happy about the direction my life is going, even though I don't really have a destination in mind - fuck destinations, they are so limiting.

The only problem I'm having is appreciating/believing trully good experiences, I still have trouble dealing with affection for example, particularly from new people.

I want to embrace it but I am scared of doing so as I feel it and all I have achieved in the last few weeks will be snatched away from me again (like it has always been) unless I am diagnosed in time, get treatment or process enough of this new bipolar reality to stop or slow the cycle.

I can't tell if these people genuinely like me (based on the experience it makes sense) but based on my own perspective of the limits of what I can achieve, it seems impossible and dream like - I just hope I don't push people away this time.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes - tired, didn't sleep last night, but the foot is still on the accelerator.